How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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