Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
