I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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