Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
