I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
