Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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