He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
