Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
