I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize