she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't deserve a penis
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you never un-have a 4some
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
