I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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