Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
