you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
