Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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