I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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