who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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