"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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