I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
