Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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