ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
