he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
