I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
