He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
