At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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