Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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