Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
