i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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