You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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