we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
