what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
