Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
