I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
