I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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