dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
