So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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