true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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