He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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