Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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