im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
where are you?
Hypothermia
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
