Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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