Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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