I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
smell my finger.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize