Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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