Little spoons don't ask big questions
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is Oprah even human
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize