Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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