i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
