i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
