let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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