Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
