So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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