i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
