Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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