she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
