why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
