I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
