Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
