I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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