Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
