Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
