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I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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