dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
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