Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
