some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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