I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
