Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize