If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
