this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
