you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
