Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
