But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
