Having a random hookup so left but love u
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
