He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
