Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
