dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
