I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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