And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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