ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
