Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
