you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
worst night to have a conscience
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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